So it is Saturday night and I am in one of those moods.  Yes I have been drinking.  Yes I am drunk as shit.  So as you know I broke up with my girl 1 month ago.  Well… I have still been talking to her a bit.  Actually we have been going to lunch together.  We actually went to lunch three times this week.  She actually asked me to go to lunch once out of the three times.  It’s crazy because I thought that she was done with me.

Well…

I thought that until today.  When we went to lunch this week we where actually making out and holding hands.  So on the third day of lunch I presumed to ask her to go on a date with me this weekend.  She actually agreed with me.  We where supposed to go to the escape room which is a place that she always wanted to go to.  So when she agreed to go with me, I went ahead and purchased the tickets (these where $40 tickets).  So after I purchased the tickets, the next day she text me and said, “I hope that you did not purchase the tickets because I am sick”.

Granted…

She was sick today, but how in the hell will she be sick the next day? I’ve known her for 5 months now, and I know how she is when she is sick.  I mean shit.. She is sick almost everyday.  The thing is, she never stays sick longer than a day.  One thing I know about her is, whenever she was sick in the past, she still found a way to see me.  I know I know, we are not together… but still… she is acting really suspect.  She is quick to have lunch with me on the week day, but on the weekend, she has plans or excuses.  This only tells me one thing… She has someone else.  Well this bitch literally fucked up my night.

Thing is…

This bitch has my head all fucked up!!!! I have no idea what the fuck she is doing.  I am literally cluster brain.  I have never been cluster brain with any female.  It’s crazy because, she is 41 and I am 31.  I never saw us lasting because of the age gape.  But… It is just something in me, maybe my pride… that makes me feel some type of way for her dropping me.  I have never had a female just drop me like she did.  I mean nothing happened that bad.  My only conclusion… She is talking to someone else.  All actually, I think that she is talking to her ex again.

I mean granted

She met me 2 weeks after she broke up with him.  She was still hurt!!!!! She brought that hurt into our relationship.  Although she denies it, it is definitely true.

But as you can see, I am literally letting this bitch control my thinking.  I could be working on my business right now, but I am here blogging about a bitch that literally does not give a fuck about me.  I wrote in a previous blog, that women are a distraction, and that is very true.  This is actually happening now.  This woman got me writing about her.  I talked to baby mom and she told me I could do better.  Thing is… I think she just tells me that because she wants me.  Matter fact, I know that she wants me.  Shit… I just had sex with her last week.

Anyway…

I am in my feelings tonight.  I will be good tomorrow.  Back to business!!!! I need to stay on my grind.  My ex only makes me grind harder.  I want to so bad to pull up in a bentley and through money at her old ass!!!!!!!!! And her old as sloppy boyfriend!!!!!! I can’t wait.  She never believed in me.

It’s crazy I say all this… Why the fuck I am I tripping over her? I think it is mostly the pussy.  I am not going to lie, she had some bomb pussy.  But enough about that.  I may get horny.  lol.  I think the biggest issue is… The way that she dropped me, and the fact that I don’t know what the fuck she is doing.

OMG!!!!! What the fuck I am doing????!!!! Why am I tripping over this bitch.  Anyway, business is going well.  Tuesday, I am going to pick up $500 of $1K.  And I am getting paid $700 a month.  My first client!!!!! And I am going after 10 more.  I am not going to stop!!!!! I have to reach my goal.  An extra $1K a month.  Ultimately I want to bring in $10K a month.  I am close.  I won’t stop till I get it.

Maybe that bitch leaving me was a sign from God.  Maybe this needed to happen.  Actually not maybe.  This needed to happen.  Sometimes on the other side of hurt, there is success.  Actually all the time.  Hurt is necessary… It teaches us a lot.  Hurt drives us.  Hurt makes us stronger.  Hurt shows us something.  Hurt test our true character.

I’ve been hurt so many times in my life.  Yes, a lot of it was me, but this all has to be sign.  It has to be a sign that God has something in stored for me.  It is a sign that I need to change something.  It is a sign that I need to grind.  It is a sign that maybe I am doing something all wrong.